With a little help from my friends...

I get by with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends
oh, im gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Do you need anybody?
i need somebody to love
Could it be anybody?
i want somebody to love.

Yes. thats how i feel. I love my friends. Krystal, Lucy, Jessie, Lisa, Mikael, Jacob, Kat, Joe, and Sylvan. Then there are others....like say Kevin, Aidan, Marie, and Elizabeth. People who i dont rlly hang out with outside of school but help me get through shitty school days.

I've noticed a certain....irritation about today.
it was supposed to be a good day.
obviously, as mentioned in my last blog, it wasnt.
It actually rather sucked.

Here is my life: no romantic prospects. I mean, there's Jordan....but he's an asshole who only wants me for sex. thats 1. Then there is Josh who is a cute little crush but shows NO signs of interest whatsoever. that could be 2. There's also someone else in my history class, but thats a not gonna happen. I'll count that as 3. Let's also add in Paul, Nick, Mikael and Jacob. Oh yeah and we cant forget the slight attraction to whats-his-name in my english class. thats....1...2...3....4 5 6 7...8?

wow. that is so whorish. Im not even hooking up with all of them [I WISH]. i've only kissed...4 of them and thats pretty good for someone who has a slighty permiscious view of life.

I'm actually trying to stop that. I would like to try and settle.

which is ironic because Lucy and Joe are having relationship....puntures based on settling. Lucy is kinda boringly tied down and misses getting action from other guys. it sounds bad when i say it like that, but honestly, i can understand her completely. which is really not good.

I mean. there will always be...

Kat and Aidan. [2 yrs]
Rachel and Ryan. [1.5 yrs]
Millie and Anthony.[...almost a year]
Lindsey and Ryan.[1 yr]
Lisa and Sylvan. [...LONG time]
Lucy and Joe.[4 mths]


I'm not even kidding. i seriously view Lucy and Joe as inseperable even though they havent been dating for that long. They've just become a couple so much in my life...its unimaginable. no joke.

im about to fall asleep over my keyboard. so ima go to bed now. niy niy.

The Highs of The Lows

I wrote about that feeling...the one where you're really down and nothing can 'lift' you up, right?

yeah thats now.

i had a good day. really i did. and i was trying my hardest not to let anything bother me. i think i did a fine job.

up until now. im not sure if im allowed on blog sites on the school computer, or if in a few seconds one of the teachers will call my name, tell me to get off the computer, or simply override and exit it for me. I'm not worried, though, because im nnot doing anything wrong. and i dont remember reading blog sites on the list of things we cant go on.

i have my ID on.
my shirt is (mostly) tucked in.
I dont have any homework due.
I'm not hungry.
and i left my phone in Lucy's car this morning.

SO the term "I have nothing to do" truly applies.
Usually, on sixth period of a typical school day, i would be with my best friend enjoying lunch in the band room.

not anymore. She;s switched out.

Amazing as it is, i cant get out of my chem class and my geometry class, yet she's managed about 3 switches so far. it's completely riddiculous. Something always stops me....when she's able to step forward.

She used to play baritone/trombone in low brass for our band.
This year she switched to colorguard with me, lucy, and lisa [and mariana].
Lisa used to play clarinet in the woodwinds last year
and sometimes, when our coach leaves, Lisa will play some stands music on Catherine's clarinet: completely harmless.

but....Krystal wanted to do that too at the last game...mom wouldnt let her.
So she started crying. it bothered her that she had to choose.
and now she has found a way where she doesnt have to choose.
She'll play baritone for concert season and colorguard for the football season.
Lisa will be doing that too.
Usually, this wouldnt have mattered to me.
I mean if she wants to do something that makes her happy then power to her.
but...there's nobody in my lunch.
and i barely see her, Lucy, Lisa or Jessie as it is.
The only person of my friends who i have a single class with....is Sylvan in math. i dont sit anywhere near him.

So on days like this, where everything just sucks...i rlly want to go home but i cant stand being there when i could possibly not be. that make sense?

but there has been some good news: Lindsey is back.
She's not dead which was a real worry...im not even kidding.
She flipped her car because she couldnt see when a peice of paper blocked her vision.

when i say 'flipped', i mean FLIPPED THE EFF OVER. i've seen the pictures. her carpool is lucky to be alive in my opinion and all she had is a few scratches and bumps.

She's riding home with Krystal today who cannot parallel park to save her life. honestly.

and this is why i avoid the hassels of driving: danger. responsibility. money.

I have work tonight...woo hoo....NOT

yes let's make the announced athiest who got expelled from SCS go coordinate the youth ministry at the same church that kicked her out! good idea!

just keep repeating

today is going to be a good day today is going to be a good day because no matter what happens it's my attitude that makes it good or bad. today is going to be a good day. today is going to be a good day because i want it to be. because i need it to be.

yeah this is NOT working. damn. twenty 3 minues remaining. this year is going to suck.